Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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