I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
