What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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