you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
