Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
home. puking in laundry basket.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
