Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
