There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my sisters under your porch take her home
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
They took my balls.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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