He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
How does one acquire holy water?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
