My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
