Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
