maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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