i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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