just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm drive I can fine osifer
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
