3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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