There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
