TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
