Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
