Kiss
Puke
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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