i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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