I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
