the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
