BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
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Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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