it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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