Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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