I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize