Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Someone came in the potted fern
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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