dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
