Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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