but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
