Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize