Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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