I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
