glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
