I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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