I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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