A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
