you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
