Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
