So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
