your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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