i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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