proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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