Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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