I skipped work to stalk him.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
