I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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