I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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