you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Randomize
