I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
