I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
