so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
