The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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