She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
