He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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