If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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