you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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