While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
