i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
