i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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