And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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