just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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