i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
