Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yo dont text me then not text me
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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