too bad you live with your parents still
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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