She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my sisters under your porch take her home
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
