i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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